Kourtney Kardashian is ready to get into the exact reason why she decided not to star as a series regular on her family’s reality show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, anymore: things just got way too toxic. In the latest issue of Vogue Arabia, the cover star opened up about her decision to take a step back from the show.

“I have been filming the show non-stop for 14 years,” she said. “I was feeling unfulfilled and it became a toxic environment for me to continue to have it occupy as much of my life as it was.” Keeping Up With The Kardashians premiered back in 2007 when Kourtney was 28 years old. Since then, the show has captured a ton of major life milestones for the entire Kardashian-Jenner family—but it’s also captured some of the moments they’d like to forget. Kourtney decided that she valued her privacy too much to continue having every moment of her life documented on television. In March, she announced that she would no longer serve as a series regular, choosing instead to focus on her own projects.

kourtney kardashian kim khloe kris jenner keeping up with the kardashians toxic shooting filmingKelly Sullivan/Getty Images

“Privacy is something I have come to value and finding that balance of private moments with being on a reality show is hard,” she explained. “People have this misconception that I don’t want to work, which isn’t true…I am following my happiness and putting my energy into that which makes me happy.” Now that she’s got a lot more down time, she’s making sure to always give her kids her undivided attention. “I always try my absolute best when I’m with my kids not to be on my phone, to be present in what we’re doing, and have those moments where you’re looking in each other’s eyes and connecting,” she said. “It’s so important. I usually take one day on the weekend when we have no plans, we hang out at the house in pajamas or sweats. We sleep in. I like to not be on a schedule on that day.”

[Via]